How Can
We Get Our Kids to Be Spiritual?
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A
As long as I can remember the words from Deuteronomy stick in my
head,
"Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God is one LORD; * 5 and you shall love
the LORD your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with
all your might. 6* And these words which I command you this day shall be
upon your heart; 7 and you shall teach them diligently to your children,
and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by
the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. 8* And you shall bind
them as a sign upon your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between
your eyes. 9 And you shall write them on the doorposts of your house and
on your gates.” (RSV, Deut. 6.6-9)
There are several things you can do to get your kids to “get spiritual.”
First, go to church and insist that your kids go with you until they are
not living in the house. Second, say prayers every night together.
Third, do things that demonstrate your faith. Fourth, make your home a
“little church.”
Why Go to Church
(Besides the Obvious)?
Folks write to me all of the time asking how they can talk with their
teenagers about sex. Namely, they want to know how to convince their
teen to not have sex. “Just tell them,” requires more than just telling
them. It requires authority. Unless you go to church, you will have no
authority to speak on matters of morality. So, as simple as it sounds,
you need to make church your top priority. Do it to say, “I love you”,
to God.
Making church a priority is more than going on Sundays. It means telling
people that you are busy when there is an appointment conflict with a
church event. It means that you need to tell your kids they need to go
to youth group instead of football practice or instrument/play
rehearsal, dance, gymnastics. Remember that going to youth group is
usually only one evening a week outside of church. It may be more, but
we have a rule, at least 75% of the time, we need to choose the Church
event over the other event.
Making church a priority makes spiritual matters a priority. Making
spiritual matters a priority makes spiritual reasons for doing
something, or not doing it (like have sex early), make more sense to
your youth.
One last point on going to church, you need to insist that your child go
to church with you until they move out. Why? This practice teaches us to
depend upon God and his spirituality even when we don’t feel like it.
Pray as a Family Every Night
Secondly, you need to pray with your child every night. The other day,
it was my six year old’s turn to pray. She began to give thanks for
having a good friend. She said she was sorry for not doing what God
wanted her to do. Then, she prayed for poor people, people who don’t
have mommies and daddies and that we would be nice to each other more as
a family.
Where did she learn all of this? She learned it from praying everyday
with our family. We have followed that pattern, “Thanks, Sorry-s, and
Helps,” for years. This practice teaches our kids how to pray. But,
again, we must make it a priority. Homework has to stop, the television
needs to be turned off, everyone needs to gather in one place. Then
either having everyone kneel or sit up is very helpful.
Members of the family will miss a time or two over a long period of
time, but the pattern will be the same. Everyone will pray even when the
other person is absent. Even more, be sure to pray for the person who is
missing. Telling the person you prayed for them with a hug is a great
way to get your kids spiritual.
Demonstrate Your Faith as a Way of
Life
Third: We just got done praying for the new year and writing on the back
of the front door of our house +20+C+B+M+05+. The first two and last two
digits stand for the year. The letters between stand for the kings who
visited Christ on the Epiphany, Caspar, Belthazaar and Melchior. The
letters also stand for the latin phrase which means, “Christ bless this
house.”
This blessing is living out of our spirituality. Other ways to live out
your spirituality with your kids is to gather items to take to Saint
Vincent de Paul Society or the Salvation Army. Volunteer at the local
homeless shelter, women’s shelter, or other religiously affiliated
ministry downtown so you can demonstrate your faith.
Be sure to pray your private prayers in front of your children. I know,
it is not closing the door and praying in private, but it needs to be
done. They have to learn how to pray in private somehow. It is important
for you to have your devotional books and Bibles out and within reach.
Worship in Your Home
Lastly, it is important to worship in your home. Every Advent, we place
a wreath in the center of our dinner table. We light a candle for each
week reciting a “rite” concerning the candle. We take turns reading and
lighting the candle. We rotate who lights and who reads every night
going from youngest to oldest. Then, when the candle is lit, we sing “O
Come, O Come, Emmanuel” together at our dinner table.
There are some great ways to worship in your home. Singing Christmas
Carols during Christmas, gathering for special moments of prayer over
someone who is leaving on a trip. You name it, there is always something
you can do to worship by gathering two or more and praying, singing and
listening in the presence of God.
This living spiritually is an essential part of this entire package.
Conclusion
My sons, mostly, but my daughters also, have the same mannerisms as I
do. It is uncanny how they raise their arms the same way I do when they
talk. They turn their head the same way I do when they are making a
point. They do what I do.
The best way to get your kids to be spiritual is to be spiritual, always
have an open invitation for them to join you being spiritual, and be
intentional about making things special.
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